I have heard a very old Tibetan story:
There was a great sage who would not initiate anybody, who would not make anybody a disciple. And his fame spread far and wide, and thousands of people would come every year to his hilltop and they would touch his feet and they would cry and weep and they would say, “Accept us! Initiate us into the truth you have achieved! Open the door of your temple to us also — we are thirsty.”
But he would say, “You are not worthy, you don’t deserve. First become worthy of me!” And his conditions were such that nobody was ever able to fulfill them: Be truthful for three years, not a single lie; for three years be celibate, not even a thought of a woman or a man — and so on and so forth.
Those conditions were impossible! And those conditions are such that the more you try to fulfill them, the more you will feel it is impossible. You can be a celibate if you don’t bother too much about it; but if you think too much about celibacy then you will be surrounded by many, many women in your mind.
Many people had tried and nobody was successful, so nobody was initiated.
Then the man was dying. Just three days before he died, many people had gathered and he told his closest people, “Now you go, and whosoever wants to be initiated I will initiate — only three days are left!”
The people knew him well and they said, “What about your conditions?”
He said, “Forget all about those conditions! In fact, I was not ready to initiate anybody; hence, I was insisting too much on the conditions. Now I am ready! and I am full and I want to share. Now forget all about the conditions — whosoever wants to come, fetch them! And be in a hurry because only three days are left.”
He initiated any and everybody, whosoever came. People could not believe it! They asked, “What are you doing? We are sinners!”
He said, “Forget about it. I was not a saint up to now — that was the only trouble. I had nothing to initiate you into. There was no door — I was standing outside the door myself. But now the door has opened — now I have to share. Now there is no question of any conditions.”
When you are aware, you are not in need of love. When you are not in need of love, you become capable of love. This is the paradox. When you are in need you are not capable.
Osho – “A Sudden Clash of Thunder”